Hermitage Note: Counting Steps

I am revisiting The Sayings Of The Holy Desert Fathers, translated by Wallis Budge, as part of my lectio divina.

I first read the collection of sayings shortly after becoming an Oblate of Saint Benedict in 2007. This revisiting is going a lot more slowly than the first reading, savoring each saying, trying to yield to the direction of Saint Benedict to listen [hear] with the ear of the heart to what it is these ancient Fathers are saying to me today in these terribly deceptive modern times.

Today I read …

A certain old man dwelt in the desert at a distance of ten miles from the monastery, wherefrom he had always to draw water, and on one occasion the matter became very wearisome to him, and he said, “What is the necessity for me to labour so much? I will come and will take up my abode by the side of this stream.”

And having said this, he turned behind him and saw a man coming after him, and he was counting his footsteps, and he asked him, saying “Who are you?”

And he answered and said to him, “I am an angel of the Lord, and I have been sent to count your footsteps, and to give you your reward.”

And having heard this the old man was consoled greatly, and he went five miles further from the place wherein he was, and took up his abode there.

It is so easy to grow weary and lose heart.

Weariness makes us want to take every step necessary to do less. It makes us rationalize and make excuses for not doing the work of God … the opus dei … that is at the heart of the Church, the primary work of professed monks, nuns, and those who closely associate with them as Oblates and lay-associates, and, for that matter, of every one who professes the Name of Christ.

It is hard to clothe ourselves in a habit of prayer. Praying without ceasing [1 Thes. 5:17] is a difficult proposition. Satan and his league of demonic imps will do everything they can to keep us from developing prayer and prayerfulness as a habit. They will create all kinds of interferences. Some of these interferences arise from within ourselves as we count our steps. Some of them come at us from outside of ourselves … stirred up by Satan and his imps in the attitudes and actions of others.

Why does Satan and his demons work so hard to keep us from clothing ourselves in a habit of prayer?

Because prayer is effective. Not only does prayer avail much in the lives of those for whom we pray. Prayer avails much in our own lives as we learn to remove our gaze and focus from upon ourselves and what we perceive to be our own needs and then fix our gaze and focus on the magnificent beauty of God and his Mysteries. This does not imply that God is not interested in meeting our needs, something that he does abundantly.

Prayer is the opus dei … the work of God … that all of us, regardless of our station or status in life, share as a common calling. In fact, the old Baltimore Catechism’s 28th Chapter tells us that prayer in an important means of obtaining God’s grace as we grow in the holiness acquired through living a sincerely conscientious Sacramental life.

What is prayer but a lifting up of our minds and hearts to God in adoration of him, thanking him for his many benefits, asking his forgiveness for our sin and personal failings, and imploring him for all the graces we need whether for soul or body? Prayer is, according to the historical stance of the Church, necessary for salvation and without it no one having the use of reason can be saved.

Even the ancient ones struggled and questioned the value of their efforts. Yet, they realized that their steps were being counted and that their invested efforts would eventually meet with eternal reward.

Fifteen miles.

That would be like walking all the way into town from here to get a small supply of water. Then, having walked to town, we’d have to walk back.